I was always the girl with the boyfriend.
In fact, the other day I counted up how many months I was single in my entire four years of college. Seven.
Boys stole my constant attention in jr. high, high school, and college too. Having a boyfriend made me feel important. It made me feel complete. For a little while at least.
I was trying to fill a hole that we all have. A God sized hole. That only a relationship with God can fill.
Instead of getting to know my Heavenly Father, I chose to spend my time chasing boys who were so far from manhood. Boys that lied, boys that cheated, and boys that truly broke my heart. One boy even broke my spirit.
Why do we give other people so much power to hurt us? We spend all this time wrapped up in romance and what our relationships look like to everyone else without stopping to question if that relationship is what is best for us.
Now, it’s easy to blame the other person in the relationship for all your problems, but it’s important to take time to self-reflect.
Ask your self: In my relationships, am I:
I’ve been in several relationships where I was none of these. I expected the other person to give me everything I was missing. Instead of fixing those parts of myself, I expected the other person to make up for everything I lacked. How unfair is that? The relationship was bound to fail from the beginning.
On the flip side, I let guys treat me poorly because I wasn’t strong enough to have a voice in my relationships. I let guys say what they wanted and treat me how they wanted and I would rarely stand up for myself.
Please don’t be like me. Have a voice in your relationships. Stand up for yourself and what you want. If they don’t like it or respect your opinion, walk away.
Walking away from someone you love is heartbreaking, but if it saves your spirit in the mean time, it’s worth it.
You deserve the best. Everyone does. Be the best for someone else. And never accept less than you deserve. But you first must find yourself to know what you truly deserve. You must love yourself.
Let a man treat you like a lady. Let him open your doors. Go on dates. Dress up together and go on adventures. If your guy doesn’t do any of these things with you, maybe you should rethink the longevity of your relationship.
And for all of you in toxic relationships – walk away. You can’t fix someone who isn’t willing to change. Don’t waste your precious time trying to make something work that just won’t.
And for all of you singles – date yourself. Fall in love with who you are. I’m a firm believer that you cannot fully love someone else, without learning how to fully love yourself first. Take care of yourself. Live life for yourself. The right one will come along when God is good and ready for you to meet them.
All in all, be patient. With yourself, with the ones you love, and with the ones you don’t. Relationships aren’t meant to be easy. We are all flawed humans, but in the end, love will always win.
God meant it when he said, love your neighbor as yourself.